Enneagram Type 4: So Individualistic I So Syncd - Personality Dating (2023)

Enneagram 4 overview

Enneagram Fours are creative and intuitive individuals. They are individualistic and have a strong sense that they are different. In fact, they pride themselves on being unique.

Enneagram 4 basic desire: On a fundamental level, Enneagram Fours want to be able to express their individuality and have a strong sense of identity.

Enneagram 4 basic fear: Enneagram Fours fear that they are insignificant and they often deal with this by trying to amplify their distinctive qualities.

Fours are very much in touch with their feelings and denying emotions isn’t something that this type struggles with. They aren’t necessarily self-accepting but they do tend to be honest with themselves about their strengths, weaknesses and emotions.

Enneagram Type 4: So Individualistic I So Syncd - Personality Dating (1)

Some people try to bury their negative emotions or disregard their weaknesses. But not Enneagram Fours. One of the drivers of this honesty is that they have a desire to understand themselves on a deep level.

Fours believe that they are special. They often view themselves as gifted but they can also see themselves as flawed. Plus, Fours are prone to introspection and often feel misunderstood by others.

Fours usually have an artistic flair and they often use their ability to reflect on their own inner experience as inspiration for their work. They have a deep capacity for empathy and understanding, which draws them to melancholy as a way of exploring their feelings.

Enneagram Fours are usually passionate about their beliefs and causes that are close to their heart. You won’t catch them being overly concerned about social norms and they believe that self-expression is an essential part of life.

Fours aren’t always at ease in social situations but typically they do desire close, intimate relationships and deep connections with others. Feeling understood by others is hugely important to Fours but it rarely happens.

People of the Enneagram Four personality type can be moody and overly sensitive. They sometimes feel overwhelmed by their emotions and can fluctuate between intense highs and lows.

Occasionally, Fours can become completely out of touch with reality. They can get lost in their thoughts and fantasies as a form of escapism. In some cases, Fours can end up in a spiral of self-destructive behavior.

Ultimately, Enneagram Fours have many admirable qualities. They are unique, creative, and authentic. However, their fixation on what they don’t have can hold them back in life.

Enneagram 4 strengths

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1. Depth: Fours have many layers and people who get to know them often enjoy discovering their new depths.

2. Creative: As well as having a rich inner life, they are able to see the world in a unique way, and their creativity manifests in many different forms, from writing to music to art.

3. Self-aware: One of the unique traits of Fours is that they are highly self-aware because they naturally spend a lot of time introspecting.

4. Compassionate: Enneagram Fours are compassionate and they hold space for their own emotions and the emotions of others.

Enneagram 4 weaknesses

1. Overly sensitive: Fours are sensitive and they can take things too personally which can impact their self-esteem.

(Video) Enneagram Type 4 Overview (The Individualist)

2. Self-absorbed: People of the Enneagram Four personality type embrace melancholy but this can be taken to extreme levels and they can be self-absorbed.

3. Dark spirals: Fours can take on the pains of others as if they are their own and end up in a spiral of dark thoughts.

4. Stubborn: In some cases, Fours can be stubborn, inflexible in their opinions, and closed to new points of view.

Enneagram wings

Most people lean towards one of the wings on either side of their Enneagram type and this determines their subtype. In the case of Enneagram Fours, the subtypes are Enneagram Four with a Three Wing (Enneagram 4w3) and Enneagram Four with a Five Wing (Enneagram 4w5). These two subtypes share the key Four traits but they also show subtle differences.

Enneagram 4w3 overview

Enneagram Fours with a Three Wing largely have traits of Enneagram Fours but they also share a number of characteristics with Enneagram Threes. Fours with a Three Wing tend to be more ambitious and outgoing. They are often more goal-oriented.

Enneagram 4w5 overview

Enneagram Fours with a Five Wing largely have traits of Enneagram Fours but they also share a number of characteristics with Enneagram Fives. Fours with a Five Wing tend to be more analytical and intellectual. They also tend to be more reserved.

Enneagram 4 dating

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Enneagram Fours can be awkward in social situations and they aren’t the most natural flirts. When dating, Fours experience a rollercoaster of emotions.

However, a lot of people find their quirkiness attractive so if you’re a Four, remember this the next time you are flirting with someone!

Plus, potential dates are often drawn to the individualistic nature of Enneagram Fours, as well as their comfort in marching to the beat of their own drum.

Enneagram 4 relationships

Fours are true romantics and they take relationships seriously. Often, they have a desire to share a strong connection with a partner who understands them on a deep level.

As a result of their comfort with emotions, Fours can help their partner process and understand their feelings which a lot of people find hugely helpful.

Enneagram Fours aren’t afraid of exploring all kinds of emotional depths, both as individuals and with their partner, and a connection with people of this type can be intense.

Fours are acutely aware that they are different and it’s essential that they feel accepted and appreciated by their partner.

Enneagram 4 compatibility

Fours need a partner who won’t be overwhelmed by their intense emotions. They feel things deeply and it’s a core part of who they are.

They also work best with partners who appreciate their individualism. Enneagram Fours can come across as quirky and if you’re the kind of person who takes social norms very seriously, you probably won’t be the best match for a Four.

People of the Enneagram Four personality type suit partners who are good listeners as they need to feel like their partner is profoundly interested in who they are as a person.

Enneagram 4 in the workplace

Fours can be very creative and expressive in their work. They can be a valuable asset to a team if they are able to channel their creativity in a positive way.

People of the Enneagram Four personality type tend to value autonomy and they don’t like to be micromanaged. They may struggle with structure and can have a hard time following rules or guidelines.

It’s important for Fours that their workplace encourages authenticity and has an inclusive culture.

(Video) What Are the 16 Personalities' Enneagram Types?

Culture is key for Fours and it can make all the difference to people of this type. If their working environment aligns with their values, they are far more likely to feel motivated.

However, Enneagram Fours can be difficult to work with because they may have a hard time dealing with criticism or negative feedback. Plus, they can find it hard to mute their emotions and may react strongly to conflict or disagreement.

Fours are some of the most passionate people out there and they can be a great addition to any team or organization.

Enneagram 4 careers

The best careers for Enneagram Fours are typically those that allow them to express themselves. They may enjoy careers in writing, art, and entrepreneurship, where they have autonomy and can be their authentic selves.

Enneagram 4s under stress

When Fours are under stress, they can become withdrawn and can spend a lot of time in their heads.

Fours aren’t usually needy, but when they are under extreme stress, they can become clingy.

Plus, they can become overly focused on the opinions of others which is a far cry from their natural state. This can happen when they are looking outside themselves for answers.

Stress impacts Fours more than a lot of other types because they feel everything so deeply.

Advice for Enneagram 4s

1. Don’t get lost in your head. The fantasies that you create in your head aren’t real life and if you spend too much time in your head, you can end up becoming alienated and detached from reality.

2. Embrace your passions. More than any other type, it’s important for Fours to have a creative outlet that can be seen as a safe space for them to express themselves.

3. Connect with others. Fours can often feel like they’re on the outside looking in, so it’s important that you find those people with whom you connect in a meaningful way.

4. Learn to handle criticism. Enneagram Fours are prone to seeing negative feedback as a personal attack but if you view it like this, you might miss out on some incredible opportunities for self-improvement.

Quotes for Enneagram 4s

Here are some of the best quotes that you’ll appreciate if you’re an Enneagram Four.

“The privilege of a lifetime is to become who you truly are.” ―Carl Gustav Jung

“We are all different. Don’t judge, understand instead.” ―Roy T. Bennett

“Value those who give you constructive criticism, because without them doing so, you will never reach the peak of what you do.” ―Unarine Ramaru

“You use a glass mirror to see your face. You use works of art to see your soul.” ― George Bernard Shaw

“Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind.” ―Bernard M. Baruch

“Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to reform (or pause and reflect).” ―Mark Twain

“Sometimes when you’re in a dark place you think you’ve been buried, but you’ve actually been planted.”Christine Caine

Enneagram 4 famous people

Now let’s take a look at some real-life examples of famous Enneagram Fours.

(Video) Enneagram Type 4s Explained - A Complete Guide

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Heath Ledger, 4w5 (Actor)

Heath Ledger was an Enneagram Four with a Five Wing. He was an introspective, emotionally sensitive artist who often delved into the darker, more painful aspects of life in his work. He was also a highly individualistic person who didn’t conform to societal norms and expectations. While Ledger could be outgoing and charismatic when he wanted to be, he often preferred to stay in the background and let his acting speak for itself. While Ledger’s public persona may have been that of a wild, carefree rebel, those closest to him knew that he was a complex and sensitive soul. He was often described as being “in his own world” and “lost in his own thoughts.” Ledger was constantly exploring his own emotions and those of others.

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Lady Gaga, 4w3 (Singer & Actor)

Lady Gaga is an Enneagram Four with a Three Wing. Enneagram Fours are known for their individualism and creativity and they are often attracted to artistic careers. This can definitely be said for Lady Gaga, who is an incredibly talented singer and actor who isn’t afraid to push boundaries. She has always been true to herself and she has never been afraid to be different or to stand out from the crowd. Her unique fashion sense and her willingness to experiment with her image have always been a big part of who she is. In 20210, Lady Gaga wore the infamous meat dress which was bold but it was also used to make a statement about one’s need to fight for what one believes in. She is always using her platform to speak out about important issues and she is never afraid to be controversial, which is typical of people with this Enneagram type. Lady Gaga shares some of the Enneagram Three traits of being ambitious and having a desire to be successful. She has always been very focused on her career and has always been determined to achieve success.

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Robert Pattinson, 4w5 (Actor)

Robert Pattinson is an Enneagram Four with a Five Wing. Pattinson is an introspective, sensitive soul who feels things deeply. He is in touch with his emotions and is often moved by art and music. He is a complex individual with a rich inner life, which is typical of Enneagram Fours. Robert is also a gifted actor who brings the nuance and depth of his personality to his roles. As a Four, he’s an introspective, creative thinker who is in touch with his emotions. Pattinson is attracted to the unusual and the unconventional. He’s a deep thinker who isn’t afraid to express his feelings. Pattinson is a very private person, and he’s not one to seek the spotlight.

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Kanye West, 4w3 (Rapper & Entrepreneur)

Kanye West is an Enneagram Four with a Three Wing. He’s creative, expressive, and individualistic. Kanye has unhealthy tendencies and he can be a bit of a control freak. He’s also selfish, egotistical, and dramatic. Enneagrams Fours aren’t afraid to express their emotions and they believe that self-expression is important. They’re often drawn to the arts and are very creative. Kanye West is the perfect example of this. He’s a successful rapper, fashion designer, and producer. He’s also known for his outrageous behavior and statements. Kanye is a prime example of an Enneagram Four with a Three Wing. He’s charming, funny, and talented. Kanye’s Three Wing is evident in his need for validation and approval. He’s always seeking attention and often uses grandiose gestures to get it. This can be seen in his frequent Twitter rants, public outbursts, and bold clothing choices. While Kanye may be a drama queen, he’s also a talented artist with a unique vision.

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Grimes, 4w3 (Musician)

Grimes epitomizes what it means to be an Enneagram Four with a Three Wing. Fours are creative, individualistic, and passionate people who have a strong sense of personal identity. They are often seen as the “black sheep” of their family or social group and usually feel like they don’t quite fit in. Grimes embraces her individualism and quirkiness, and she has built a career centred around her uniqueness. It also allows her to be incredibly creative and push boundaries. Grimes often expresses her unconventional and non-conformist personality through her music, fashion sense, and social media presence. She is also highly sensitive and attuned to the emotions of others, which makes her an excellent artist and collaborator. However, she also has a strong sense of self-preservation, and she isn’t afraid to put up a “wall” when she feels like she is overwhelmed. This can sometimes make her seem aloof or unapproachable, but it’s also one of the things that makes her so magnetic and intriguing.

Enneagram 4 characters

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Willy Wonka, 4w3 (Charlie & the Chocolate Factory)

Willy Wonka is an Enneagram Four with a Three Wing. Fours are the individualists of the Enneagram world. Wonka is a classic Four in that he is highly individualistic and has a strong sense of self. He has an eccentric style and lives in his own world. Also, he is often misunderstood. Fours are visionary, just like Willy Wonka who is innovative and has a strong sense of aesthetics. We can see this in the chocolate factory he created, which is filled with bold, fun, and unique features. Wonka is also a Three Wing, which means he is ambitious and driven. He wants to be the best at what he does, and he is always striving to achieve his goals.

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Jonathan Byers, 4w5 (Stranger Things)

Jonathan Byers is an Enneagram Four with a Five Wing. He’s friendly and kind but he can be withdrawn and prefers to stick to small groups of people. Fours are visionary, creative individuals. So it’s no wonder Jonathan Byers’ favorite hobby is photography. He’s always carrying around his camera, looking for the perfect shot. Jonathan is also very sensitive and compassionate. He’s the kind of person who feels things deeply and is quick to comfort others. This makes him a great friend, but it can be challenging for him in some ways. Jonathan often takes on other people’s problems as his own, which can lead to him feeling overwhelmed. Jonathan Byers is a complex individual, but ultimately he’s a good person who just wants to make a difference in the world.

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Arthur Fleck, AKA Joker, 4w3 (Joker)

Arthur Fleck, AKA Joker, is an unhealthy Enneagram Four with a Three Wing. He’s extremely sensitive, anxious, and self-conscious. He’s also creative, which is what drew him to stand-up comedy in the first place. His unhealthy Four qualities make it difficult for him to connect with others and make lasting relationships. Fours are known for their dark sense of humor, and Joker is no exception. He’s constantly making jokes about himself and his situation, even when it’s clearly not funny. This dark sense of humor is one of the things that makes Joker so dangerous. but it’s also what makes him so fascinating. This, combined with his need for validation and approval that comes from his Three Wing, leads Joker down a dark path. Joker is a character who is easy to empathize with, even though he does some pretty terrible things. He’s a product of his environment, and it’s easy to see how someone in his position could snap.

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Jules Vaughn, 4w3 (Euphoria)

Jules Vaughn is the classic example of an Enneagram Four with a Three Wing. She is a creative force to be reckoned with. Jules has got a sharp wit, an eye for detail, and a knack for finding beauty in everyday moments. Fours can often feel like outsiders even if they are surrounded by loads of friends. They can be self-conscious and fear that no on understands them. Jules is no different in this respect. She is incredibly focused on her identity and how others see her. She wants to be seen as authentic and different, and one of her biggest fears is appearing like a fraud. However, Jules is also very aware of the needs of others and is often the first to offer help or support. She is a loyal and supportive friend. Jules’ Three Wing is shown in her need for validation and approval from others. Enneagram Fours are sensitive and deeply introspective. They long to be understood and appreciated for who they are, just like Jules.

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Belle, 4w5 (Beauty & the Beast)

Belle from Beauty and the Beast is an Enneagram Four with a Five Wing. She’s a hopeless romantic who dreams of finding her “true love” and living “happily ever after.” However, she often feels like she doesn’t quite fit in with the other villagers and is seen as a bit of an outsider, this is typical of people with this Enneagram type. Belle is also very intelligent and has a love for reading, which she often uses as an escape from her reality. Like a true Enneagram Four, Belle has a rich inner world. She also has some notable Five traits. She is very independent and resourceful, often using her intelligence to find new ways to help others or solve problems. Belle is also observant and takes in all the details around her, which is a common Five trait. Belle is a beautiful example of how someone with the 4w5 Enneagram type can be kind, romantic, and intelligent.

Meet your perfect personality match

Join So Syncd today to meet your perfect personality match and connect with people on a deeper level. You can download it for free on Android or iOS today.

If you’d like to learn more about Enneagram types, you can read our post about Enneagram Fives.

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